


Crash Course

by DaisyChainz



Series: Star Wars Comics fics [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren (Comics)
Genre: Anal Sex, Ben Solo is a Mess, Ben assists in his corruption, Canon-Typical Violence, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs (Giving), First Time Bottoming, First time blow jobs (getting), Getting to Know the KoR, Gratuitous Smut, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Public Blow Jobs, Ren Prime is Not Nice - Freeform, Rough Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Unreliable Narrator, a tiny bit of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-02-22 14:21:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22717408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyChainz/pseuds/DaisyChainz
Summary: Ben finds the Knights of Ren after the events at the Jedi school. Will he be able to do what needs to be done to join their ranks? Will he pass the test?
Relationships: Knights of Ren & Ben Solo, Knights of Ren/Ben Solo, Ren (Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren)/Ben Solo
Series: Star Wars Comics fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1473509
Comments: 27
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When Kuruk takes Ben for new clothes he also gives him his first lesson in the Shadow. Along with the pleasures it can bring.
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day??
> 
> Star Wars: the Rise of Kylo Ren

"The kid looks like trash. An actual pile of garbage. Find him some clothes." Ren jerked his thumb towards Ben. "I mean . . . We're the Knights of Ren. We have a reputation."

Kuruk nodded to Ren, then walked up to Ben Solo, appeared to eye him up and down and then walked away. Ben, looking lost, sent a questioning look to Ren. Ren grinned and made a shooing motion towards him. "Well, go on kid. See what Kuruk can find for you."

Ben followed him out of the bar and down to the street. To his surprise they stopped outside a shop. As if answering his unspoken question, Kuruk stopped and eyed him up again. "You're a bit skinnier than the rest of us. Don't think we have anything you can wear. Besides," he turned and headed in, "this should be fun."

Following more slowly, Ben allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkened space. Racks of clothing lined the room, Kuruk was already shoving through the assortment, apparently knowing what he was looking for. 

Ben closed his eyes for a moment. Of all the things he had imagined happening since he awoke to his Uncle's lightsaber, clothes shopping with a Knight of Ren didn't even come close to having made the list. 

The shopkeeper approached Ben cautiously, speaking to him but never taking his eyes off the Knight. His weapons clanked against his armor as he yanked another handful of fabric over his arm. 

"Is there anything I can help you gentle beings with this eve?"

Kuruk turned and walked straight towards the shopkeeper, shoving him out of his path. "Just keep to yourself. I've got this handled." He went to the back of the shop, pausing to look back for Ben. "C'mon, I'm not the one's gotta try these on." And disappeared down the hall. 

Following, Ben found himself in the dressing area, Kuruk already in one of the large cubicles. He tossed down the clothes and started pulling out pieces. He threw one in Ben's direction. "Start with that."

Ben stood holding it a moment, a black tunic. Kuruk looked at him, a sound that could have been a laugh coming from his mask. "Go on, don't be shy." He brushed past Ben and closed the door. 

Kuruk flopped down in the only chair and watched Ben slowly start to remove his tattered layers. Gloves, cape, belt. He hesitated over the shirt, glancing at Kuruk. "Oh." Kuruk reached up and released his mask, sliding it off and resting it on his leg. He grinned at Ben. "How rude of me." His voice was mocking, but in a pleasant, teasing way. 

Ben stopped completely as he took in Kuruk's face. He was humanoid with smooth brown skin, hair just a little lighter than Ben's, short curls somewhat mashed by the helmet. He gave Ben another look with a smile. "Whatcha waiting for?" Ben blushed and half-turned away to remove his shirt. 

Kuruk's voice was higher without the mask scrambling it, but still had a nice sound. He couldn't have been more than ten years older than Ben. He chuckled. "I guess all Jedi are shy, huh? Can't have you mixing too much or you might catch feelings." The last part almost sounded like a question. 

"I'm not a robot. Of course I have feelings. We . . ." Ben paused, then corrected himself, "Jedi are allowed to like other people. They're just taught not to get attached to them."

"Hmmmm." Kuruk sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. It accentuated his broad shoulders. Ben blinked and refocused on opening his shirt. "I always wondered. That didn't include sex, did it?" He grinned as Ben blushed again. "I mean, I got beings I like having sex with, but beyond that I can't say I'm too attached to them. Hell's, some I don't even like." He scratched his head then laughed. "Am I embarrassing you, Jedi?"

Ben yanked his shirt off and threw it on the floor. "I'm no Jedi." He growled, the truth of his words unfurling in his gut. It was the first time in the last cycle he had dared give a voice to those thoughts. 

Kuruk tipped his helmet carelessly onto the floor and stood. He approached Ben carefully, but not as though he didn't want to scare him. It felt more like he was stalking him. Ben felt a little shiver run through him as he watched. 

"Good. Then you don't have to act like a Jedi anymore. You can give yourself over to the Shadow, release all those rules and traditions that keep you mired in someone else's past." Kuruk slowly circled Ben, leaning in without touching. He stopped when their faces were almost parallel. "You want something? You can take it. I can feel your power. None of us are trained like you, we don't have your control. You were wasted on those Jedi." He took a step back, grabbing the end of the tunic in Ben's hand, trailing it out if his grasp. Then he looked Ben in the eye. "I want a taste of that power. I want you." 

Ben felt his face go crimson and he looked away. "Is that how this works?"

Kuruk snorted and he tossed the tunic across the chair. "We're killers, kid. Not rapists. I said you Could take what you want. Not that you should always do it." He folded his arms over his broad chest again, his smile telling Ben he knew he liked seeing him do that. "But sure, sex is a good place to start. Unlike the Jedi, the Shadow doesn't expect us to be ashamed of our bodies, and what they need." 

"We don't need . . ." Ben started. 

"Sure we do." Interrupted Kuruk. "How do you expect to stay balanced, sane in your own skin? The Shadow can be pretty intense sometimes. It's good to have an outlet."

Ben opened his mouth, closed it. Opened it again. "That's not . . . That's not something I expected to hear you say." He stared into Kuruk's dark eyes. 

Kuruk smiled and picked up the tunic again. He held it open for Ben to slip into. Ben hesitated, then turned to push his arms in. Kuruk held onto the collar after he settled it over Ben's shoulders, his arms draped around him. He spoke, very close to Ben's ear. Ben felt the breath across his skin all the way to his toes. "What, balance? Even the Shadow needs balance. Some very powerful force users have burned very brightly; but not for very long."

He turned Ben to face him, hands running down the open edges of the shirt. He didn't touch, but Ben felt his breathing quicken. 

Kuruk shook his head. "No, not this one. Take it off."

Ben slid the shirt off his shoulders, down his arms, watching the hungry look in Kuruk's eyes as they followed his movements. He tossed the tunic back onto the chair again. 

Kuruk reached out a gloved hand and trailed it up Ben's bare arm. They both watched his fingers trace over the muscle. "My first time was with Ren. He wasn't gentle, but he made it good for me." He met Ben's eye. "How much experience you got, kid?"

Feeling his cheeks heat again Ben tried not to look away. His eyes fell to Kuruk's mouth instead. "Not much. Just with a couple of other students, out in the woods near the school." He lifted his hand, then dropped it awkwardly. "Just hands, mostly."

"It's all right. I hadn't done anything before. I can work with that." Kuruk stepped forward and reached for Ben, running his hands over his skin. Ben closed his eyes and shivered. "When was the last time someone else touched you, Ben?"

He shook his head. "I, I can't remember."

Kuruk's hands disappeared for a moment, and when he touched Ben again he couldn't stop a loud gasp escaping. His eyes flew open and watched Kuruk's bare fingertips brush over him. He looked at Kuruk, eyes wide, mouth open. "Feel good?" He asked and Ben could only nod. 

He gasped again when he felt Kuruk unexpectedly pinch his nipple. He jumped back, face even more red. 

Kuruk laughed. "You liked that, I could feel it. So don't bother trying to lie." He followed Ben the step and a half he had taken away. Ben couldn't help leaning in as Kuruk cupped his hands around his face, then slid them down over his neck and across his shoulders. He didn't bother to deny anything. 

Kuruk walked around until he was behind him again, draping himself over Ben's shoulders. "Listen kid, you gotta let go of all that shit. The shame, embarrassment." His hands both pushed down over Ben's chest, rubbing over his nipples. He teased with another pinch. "This feels good, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just two people giving each other pleasure." One hand slid over his stomach and just into the waist of his pants.

"I'm no kid." Ben managed to blurt out when the hand stopped there. He realized he was almost slumped back against Kuruk's chest, but he couldn't make himself move.

"Oh trust me: I noticed. I'm not talking about age. It's experience, and you ain't got it. Not yet. Let's see if we can get you started right now . . ."

Ben straightened but didn't pull away. "Here? Outside, they can hear . . ." There were others in the shop, he had heard the shopkeeper talking to them.

"That's what this is about. You want something, you go get it. Don't worry about other folk. We don't care. The Shadow doesn't care." Kuruk breathed into Ben's hair and pushed his hand the rest of the way under his clothes. "Why should we give a shit what they think."

Ben's brain whited out, he reached behind and found Kuruk's hair; he pushed his fingers into the short curls trying to ground himself. Kuruk's own fingers brushed across Ben's cock, barely touching it, his other hand plucking at his nipple. Ben fought back a groan, trying not to get wrapped up in Kuruk's touches. He closed his eyes, took a breath, seeking to calm and center himself.

But Kuruk suddenly pulled him in more tightly, whispering "no". He laid his hand flat across Ben's cock, pressing but not moving. "Take advantage of how this makes you feel, channel it, use it. Don't bottle it up and push it down inside. That's the Jedi way, not the Shadow way. It will make everything so much better. I promise." He said as he wrapped his hand around Ben's cock and began stroking him.

That was what made Ben break. He felt himself let go of all voices in his head reminding him of all the things Jedi don't do. Telling him to reign himself in, not give into his base instincts. Instead he laid his head back against Kuruk's shoulder, used his free hand to slide down his arm, try and speed the hand over his cock.

Kuruk chuckled against his ear, and instead of going faster, he released Ben completely and pulled away. 

Barely able to steady himself, Ben didn't stop the protesting sound that escaped his lips. 

"I'm not gonna finish you like that, kid. You've done that before. We'll find something else that feels good; don't worry, I know just the thing." Undoing his outer jacket, Kuruk pulled it back enough to start opening his pants. Ben watched with fascinated, hungry eyes as Kuruk pulled out his hard cock, stroking it for Ben's stare. 

Suddenly, Ben decides it would feel good to suck the Knight's dick. He fell to his knees and inexpertly took it in his mouth. "Oh shit yeah. That's the spirit," Kuruk gasped. He pulled away just slightly as Ben took too much and gagged. "Slow down, you gotta work your way up to that." Ben looked up through watering eyes, Kuruk was watching him, bottom lip between his teeth. Ben didn't touch himself often, but he thought about what he liked when he did. What helped push him over the edge. 

Ben watched Kuruk's eyelids flutter shut and heard a gasped "fuck yeah . . . Shit, you'd better stop Ben." He pulled away, leaving Ben feeling empty. He wiped the saliva off his chin and let Kuruk pull him back into his feet. His cock throbbed in his pants. 

Looking around the room Kuruk motioned towards the chair. "Get the rest of your clothes off. I wanna see you. Then, I'm gonna fuck you."

Breathing like he had just run to the top of the cliffs overlooking the ocean near the school, Ben shoved the discarded tunic onto the floor. He sat and took off his boots. He thought he would be embarrassed to bare himself before Kuruk, but instead he found himself drinking in his appreciative stare. 

"Nice." Managed Kuruk, and then he was fumbling in his pocket. He held up a small packet triumphantly. "I knew this would come in handy. Turn around, straddle the chair, but don't sit."

Ben did as instructed, the chair making him spread his legs. He couldn't help leaning forward with his forearms against the wall. He knew it made his ass stick out towards Kuruk, but frankly, the idea lit an excitement in the pit of his stomach. His erection jumped a little when he felt Kuruk cup his ass.

"Perfect" he purred into Ben's ear as he pressed himself against his back. Ben felt him lay his own cock between Ben's ass cheeks. He sighed into Ben's ear as he stroked between them a few times. Then he pulled away and Ben could hear him tearing open the packet of lube. "I'm gonna open you up with my fingers; but I'll make it quick. Wanna fuck that ass right now."

Ben had never heard dirty talk before. Kuruk's impatience made him not want to wait either, but as just that first finger breached him he knew he would have to. 

Kuruk was against his back again, his clothes rough against Ben's skin. It felt exquisite in the cool air of the room. 

"Breathe, relax and let me in." Kuruk instructed, and Ben tried. 

It helped and before long Kuruk was fucking him with three fingers. "Beautiful." He whispered in Ben's ear as he moaned and squirmed under him. He pulled his fingers out with a wet slurp. "Sounds like you're all ready for me, Ben. Do you want me to fuck you now?"

He laughed at the strangled sound Ben managed. He lined his cock up, just pressing slightly against the tight opening, but not pushing in. "What was that?" He asked teasingly, running his hands down Ben's back and squeezing his ass. He pushed forward just a tiny bit more. 

Ben canted his hips as much as their position would allow, trying to capture Kuruk's cock. He mumbled, incoherently. 

Kuruk laughed again. "What was that, Ben? Was there something you wanted me to do?" He leaned forward just enough to reach around and stroke two fingers over Ben's heavy cock. 

Ben cried out. "Fuck me! I want you to fuck me. Please."

Still grinning, Kuruk started pushing in. "Now, was that so hard?" His groan joined Ben's as he worked his way in. "Hmmm. So tight Ben. I knew you were gonna be so good."

Once he bottomed out he pressed himself back against Ben. His voice was low in his ear, and Ben could barely hear him over their harsh breathing and pounding hearts. "I'm gonna fuck you now, hard, until we both come." And then he pulled back his hips and swiftly shoved back in. 

Ben clutched his own hair and moaned out loud. He couldn't help it, and he didn't want to try. The stretch burned a little, but being filled felt so good, and every pound of Kuruk's cock made that flame burn brighter in his stomach. 

Ben had orgasmed before, by his own hand and by others, but he could already tell those were going to be nothing compared to this. Tendrils of pleasure snaked over his skin, along every nerve ending, starting at his groin and radiating outward. He could already feel his balls drawing up, his muscles tensing. His cock throbbed, pulses of something spectacular traveling the length of him every time Kuruk pounded into him. 

Kuruk was moaning above him, his strokes becoming sharper, more urgent. His hands had been wrapped tightly around Ben's hips, but now one slid over his skin, pushing down between his legs.

Crying out, Ben started coming with the first tight stroke over his cock. His chin almost to his chest and his eyes half- closed, Ben could see his abdomen tighten, his chest stop as he first kicked over and felt suspended in that wave of intense pleasure that seemed to lock his body in place. Then the waves started rolling, in time to Kuruk's strokes of hand and cock and he watched his own come pulsing out of the head of his cock, pooling in the chair below him. 

Then his eyes rolled back in his head and his body shook uncontrollably, given over completely to how intense and wonderful every move Kuruk made over him, inside him. 

He was just starting to come down when Kuruk grabbed both hips again, his rhythm stuttering and his strokes pushing in deeper. With a loud groan over Ben's ear, he could feel Kuruk coming inside him. For a moment he felt a wave of spasms again, then both of them slumped against the wall. 

"Shit." Kuruk finally managed. They both laughed weakly, unable to express any better how amazing that had felt. 

As Kuruk finally softened and slipped free, Ben took a moment to pull himself together. Before, whether he had been alone or with someone else, afterwards had been awkward and embarrassed. He felt guilty for having done something he had to hide from everyone. The pleasure had been fleeting, and quickly replaced by less pleasant emotions. 

But now, Ben felt no embarrassment; he had done nothing wrong. Kuruk had been right. Letting go had given him the most intense orgasm he had ever had, and he had no desire to let that wonderful feeling go to be replaced by invasive and wrong feelings. 

He flipped himself over. Kuruk had already tucked himself away and righted his clothes, but there was no mistaking the flush across his dark cheeks. He smiled wryly at Ben. "Told you so." He leaned down and picked up Ben's old shirt. "Here, clean up with this while I get your new clothes ready." He winked. "I picked those pants cause your ass is gonna look great in them." He tossed Ben the shirt. "If the other Knights didn't want to fuck you before, they're gonna definitely want to now." He turned to the pile of clothes. "Hurry up so we can get out of here."

Ben wiped himself with the shirt and tossed it onto the soiled chair. He pulled on the clothes that Kuruk handed him, settling his saber behind his shoulder. It felt odd, he wasn't sure he liked it. But then everything felt odd now. His situation, the people around him, even himself. 

So he left the saber where it was, left his old clothes and the mess in the dressing room behind. He held his head high, walked back out through the shop where everyone was staring, knowing full well what he and the Knight had just done behind that flimsy door. He tossed the credits Kuruk had given him to pay on the counter and walked out without a word, leaving it all behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren and Snoke strike a deal without discussing it with Ben. Ben learns more about the Knights, and the things he needs to know to be successful . . . Or else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Knights are not nice, and Ben has a lot of habits to unlearn.

After he and Kuruk had gotten back Ren had slapped him on the shoulder approvingly. "Let's go find something to burn." He had announced and most of the Knights had gleefully followed. 

At first Ben had stayed close to Kuruk. He hadn't ignored Ben, but hadn't given him any more attention then anyone else. So eventually Ben had migrated back to Ren. He was back at his place against the bar, this time with his mask off and a drink in his hand.

"So kid, watchya think? Still wanna try this life?"

Ben nodded and leaned next to him. The bartender set a drink down by his elbow and walked away. Ren nodded towards the drink and downed half of his own. Ben picked it up and sniffed it. The alcohol was strong enough to make his nose burn. 

"Go on kid." Ren was watching him. "Have a drink to celebrate your new life. And Yeah, it tastes as bad as it smells. It's a gulping alcohol, not a sipping one." He demonstrated again by draining his own. 

Ben wrinkled his nose, then took a breath and a big gulp. He managed to get the alcohol down, burning all the way, before he started coughing. 

Ren slapped him on the back heartily. "That's the way to do it kid. You'll get the hang of it." He motioned for a refill for them both. 

Before Ben managed to get too drunk, Ren was distracted by Vicrul and Kuruk getting into an argument with another patron. Ren seemed to feel his Knights ought to settle the matter with their fists and went to assist. Ben made his way unsteadily to where everyone else was sitting. 

Ben had heard everyone's name more than once, so he was fairly sure Ushar and Ap'lek were in deep conversation at one end of the table, while Trudgen sat nearby sharpening a blade. They all had drinks, but were taking their time with them. Cardo was nowhere in sight. 

Trudgen raised a blonde eyebrow. He had high cheekbones and a haughty expression. "What's the matter?" He had fine, well-spoken Basic. "Rubbing elbows with the riff-raff and starting fist fights not your thing?" He turned back to his blade, but added "there might be hope for you."

Ben sat down across from him, suddenly realizing how tender his ass was, trying not to flinch obviously. He glanced down the table at the other two. They didn't appear to be ignoring him or Trudgen, just engrossed in their discussion. 

Trudgen spared them a glance as well. "Don't mind them, two porat peas in a pod they are. They've been combat partners since before I joined up. Although Ushar's so young I'm not certain how."

Ben tried not to stare, but the two were an odd pair. Ap'lek was a bird-like species he didn't recognize. His form was humanoid, but his long mask had hidden a short, broad beak. His skin was covered in some kind of blue fuzz. But even so, Ben could tell he was a good bit older than his partner. Ushar looked to be the youngest Knight; maybe just a little older than Ben. Ap'lek was likely older than any of them. 

Ushar caught his attention too. His features were Sullustan, from the gray skin, black eyes and his dewflaps. But he was far taller and broader than the average. It spoke of a good bit of human blood. Curious, Ben caught himself before he looked through Ushar's head. He wasn't supposed to invite himself into other's minds. 

But then, that was a Jedi rule. Jedi were supposed to control their urges, not make spectacles of themselves, be celibate, not . . . kill. 

Ben grimaced but found that breaking Jedi rules was a lot easier than following them. He pushed into Ushar's mind. 

Ushar was passionate, he felt that right away. Whatever he and Ap'lek were discussing was very important to him . . . The Ren. Ushar was a true believer. 

Ben pressed further. There were layers and each one cemented Ushar's beliefs. The Shadow was the way. The Ren was the guide. He found a slight hesitation regarding Ren himself. Ushar was uncertain he was fit to hold the Ren; but he followed because that was the way the Ren led him. Ben filed that away. 

But then Ben sensed something else, another layer that was strong, more zealous. Much more dark. A side of the Shadow he had yet to encounter. Ushar was . . . Ren's executioner. Far more than that. 

Ben pulled away, quickly. The images were gruesome, but he was more disturbed by his own fascination of them. 

He blinked and shook his head. He could see Ushar down at the end of the table again, frowning. Ben glanced at Ap'lek, startling when he realized those bright blue eyes were staring right at him. 

Ben blushed, thinking he had been caught. But Ap'lek looked puzzled, like he suspected something, but he wasn't certain what. Had he sensed Ben's intrusion but not known what it was?

Interesting. Ben filed that away as well. 

He started to take another drink but Trudgen grabbed the glass, not taking it away but arresting it's progress to his mouth. "If you want to drink that gear fluid it's up to you. But if you value your eyeballs not feeling like they're pounding out of your head? I don't recommend it."

He released the glass, eyes staying on Ben. 

Ben regarded him, then the drink. Upon thinking about it, his head already felt light and swimmy. It was making him just a little nauseous. Perhaps Trudgen had the right of it. Ben put his drink down.

Trudgen smiled approvingly. "I suppose there really is hope for you." He turned back to his blade.

With nothing else to do, and the sounds of the fight having been taken outside, Ben's attention was captured by the Knights. They were all so different. What had brought all of them together? Zealots, scrappers, Trudgen with his cultured airs. He wondered where they were all from. Even Ren. He knew his own story, but how else could someone find themselves in the company of those such as the Knight's of Ren?

*** **

Ben was glad the next morning he had not drunk as much as he could have; although he had drunk more, once everyone came back inside and rejoined them. Nobody looked any worse for the wear after the fight. If anything, Ren, Kuruk and Vicrul had been in high spirits, and they had infected everyone else with them. Ap'lek and Ushar had joined in, and even Trudgen had lowered himself to drink some of the 'gear fluid'. Cardo had joined them at the last, throwing back a few drinks of his own. 

Ben awoke with a modest headache and queasy stomach, but thankfully no need to run to the refresher to vomit. He didn't even know where it was. 

Or where he was. 

He lay still for a while, until he was certain it was his insides moving, and not the ship. Then he carefully rolled over and planted his feet on the floor. So far, so good. 

He managed to stand with the help of the bedpost, then could see who was snoring loudly in the bunk above his. 

Kuruk lay sprawled on his stomach, like he had fallen that way when he had climbed in. Ben figured with as much as he had drunk the night before, it was likely. With the way Ben felt after only a few drinks, he did not envy the hangover awaiting Kuruk when he finally awoke. 

Seeing Kuruk reminded Ben that not all of his aches and pains were from the alcohol. He stood for a moment, trying to decide if he was still glad he had made all the decisions he had made over the last few cycles. Finally, he decided his head hurt too much to think about it right then; Ben managed to stumble out of the room. 

He followed voices down a door-lined hallway, finding the galley at the end. 

Ren and Trudgen were standing in there when he arrived. Ren was holding a drink. 

"Hey kid!" He said a little too enthusiastically, and grinned broadly when Ben winced. "You look better than I thought you would this morning." He brandished his drink under Ben's nose. Ben winced away from the smell of the alcohol. "Want a little hair of the Lothcat that scratched you?"

Ben wrinkled his nose and waved him off. Shaking his head seemed like a bad idea. 

"Have some water Ben. That's what your body needs." Trudgen suggested, surprisingly helpfully. Ben remembered him having come off as a bit of a snob--at least until he got a few drinks in him. 

Ren scoffed. "A good hangover builds character." He slapped Ben on the back, jostling his head and his stomach. "Besides, we've got work to do. C'mon."

Trudgen shrugged and Ben followed Ren into the common room. The inside of the ship was dark, but roomier than Ben would have thought--he assumed he was aboard the Night Buzzard. He sat across from Ren and hoped his stomach decided not to rebel. 

"Things are a little tight at the moment, so we bunked you with Kuruk. Although," he grinned laviciously and Ben felt his cheeks redden, "I heard the two of you got along just fine at the shops last night."

Ben had no answer to that so Ren continued. "So anyway, I talked to Snoke and he and I came to an understanding."

Ben sat up, his illness momentarily forgotten. "What kind of understanding?"

"You got three weeks. Prove you're one of us, get your good death, you're in. You'll be a Knight and Snoke said he'll take you on an apprentice."

"But I thought . . ." Ben started. He thought Snoke was already going to do that. 

Ren held up a hand. "It's a take it or leave it deal, kid."

Ben was quiet for a moment. "What happens if I don't make your deadline?"

Ren slapped him on the shoulder again. "I think you know the answer to that. Don't worry about it kid, we'll be keeping you busy."

"What does that mean?" Ben afraid he really did know the answer to his first question. 

"Snoke has a job for us."

*** **

Ben had followed Ren through the ship, down the gangway and out onto the tarmac of the port. They stood under the Night Buzzard and Ren had pointed up to the maintenance panels. "So I hear you do some piloting and fixing of ships." He said pointedly. 

"Yeah." 

"Good." Ren smacked the underbelly of the ship. "Already full up on pilots, but the Buzzard needs some work before we can get going." He pointed across the hanger. "There's tools over there. Help yourself."

Ben glanced where he was pointing. They were against a far wall, nowhere near their ship. "Those are your tools?"

Ren grinned and turned to go back in. "Nope."

Ben stood alone for a while under the ship, listening to the distant sounds of the world outside. His stomach gurgled and did a flip, finally settling down after a harrowing moment or two. With a long sigh he went to find what he needed to open up and diagnose the Buzzard. 

Several hours later, he was elbow deep, surrounded by tools and greasy parts. When he had gone to collect the tools he needed he had been approached by a tall, lean sentient. With a wave is his hand he had convinced them he had permission to use the tools. Another Jedi rule broken. His stomach and head had stopped hurting, and he had been hungry for a while. He peeked up into the bowels of the ship. The sound of heavy boots on the gangway caught his attention and he craned his neck to see who was coming out.

The boots stopped about halfway down and their owner squatted. Kuruk's face appeared, eyes falling on the mess around Ben. "Holy shit." He remarked cheerfully. He stood and joined Ben on the tarmac. "Did you gut the old Buzzard?" He peered up into the maintenance shaft. 

Ben couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Kuruk had drunk at least three times as much as Ben the night before. But his eyes were clear, and even though his hair was a tangled mess, he was obviously in good spirits. 

He also couldn't help but remember how those curls had felt under his desperate, grasping fingers as Kuruk had taken him apart. 

Ben shifted his attention and cleared his throat before answering. "Uh, yeah. I guess. Ren said it needed some work, but the more I dug, the more I found."

Kuruk nodded and looked around appreciatively. "Yeah. I've done a few things. But she was definitely due for some real attention. Cardo's the only other one with any mechanical experience around here. But really, he's better with droids than ships."

Putting down the part in his hand and wiping his greasy hands, Ben shrugged. "I've always found ships and droids to be pretty similar. Just a different scale."

Kuruk laughed. "I don't mean he can't work on ships, he just prefers droids. He says they're friendlier and less opinionated than ships."

Interesting. Ben shrugged. "Not in my experience." Kuruk laughed again. 

Squatting back down, Kuruk picked up one of the loose parts. "So, how do you know so much?"

Sending out a gentle feeler, Ben got the impression Kuruk was less interested in his history, and more in his actual skills. If Ben was going to be working on a ship Kuruk was going to have to pilot, he wanted to know it was done right. 

Pausing, Ben put the dirty rag down. "My family is big on older models of ships. Lots of patching up and repair work to keep them flying."

Humming, Kuruk met Ben's eye. "No falling out of the sky?"

Shaking his head, Ben tried to sound confident. "Nope. They keep on flying."

That seemed to satisfy Kuruk. He stood and ran his hands over his thighs. Ben tried not to stare. "Just checking in. I'll be in the cockpit running some tests myself." He gestured at the pile of parts. "Good luck with all . . . This."

Ben watched him disappear back into the ship. His stomach grumbled and he was reminded he had eaten and drunk nothing since the night before. And very little before even that. He hadn't even had a chance to wash his face since he got up. 

Ren had given him a job, and his Uncle's voice rang in his head to be dedicated and finish it. 

But now that the hangover was mostly past, Ben's stomach rumbled and his hands were actually a little shaky. He stood and threw down the grease rag. He would work better after a break and some food. He wanted to go eat and he was going to. 

His Uncle's voice could go screw itself. 

*** **

When Ben walked back on board he could smell food cooking. His stomach growled as he followed his nose and the busy sounds coming from the galley. 

Kuruk turned as he entered the kitchen, closing a cupboard with a handful of ration bars. "Hey. That was quick." His brown eyes met Ben's. 

He shrugged, feeling shaky and grumpy in spite of Kuruk's ongoing friendliness. "It's gonna take me a couple of days, probably. It was kind of a mess under there. I'll have to check up top, too." Ben wasn't looking at Kuruk anymore, his attention was on Cardo, who was standing at the stove, stirring whatever it was that smelled so delicious. "But right now I'm starving." He added, almost to himself. 

Kuruk smirked and followed his gaze. "All right. When you're ready for diagnostics let me know." He saluted Ben with the ration bars and headed out.

Ben watched him in confusion as he walked out. Then he turned back to Cardo, the sound of the spoon hitting the edge of the pot with a sound of finality catching his attention again. As he watched, Cardo grabbed the pot off the stove and turned into the kitchen. 

He stopped cold when he found himself face to face with Ben, who couldn't help staring longingly at the food between them. His stomach growled loudly as the smell of meat and some sort of grain, heavily seasoned, was carried by the steam to his nose. 

Cardo had wide set, dark features. They twisted into a frown. His bare hand lifted and he pointed to the cupboard Kuruk had just been at. "Ration bars." Then he pushed his way past Ben, meeting Vicrul in the hallway. Vicrul turned to watch him go down the hall and disappear, presumably, into his own room. Ben's heart sank as he heard the sound of a door shutting. 

Vicrul, straight black hair falling down over his forehead into his eyes and over his high cheek bones, turned to Ben and shrugged. "You cook?" He asked hopefully. 

Sighing, Ben shook his head. "I've watched it being done, so I probably could. But no."

"Damn." Said Vicrul. He walked to the cupboard. "Ration bars it is I guess." He pulled out a handful and tossed a couple to Ben. "Later I'll go out and grab something, but I don't got time right now." He peeled open one of the bars and took a bite, chewing as he continued. "I'm working on sweet-talking a bio-metrics scanner. Those new ones from Athakam are tricky." 

Ben turned that over in his hungry brain for a moment, as he unwrapped his own bar and bit off half. Gently, Ben took a quick peek into Vicrul's head. From what quick flashes he got, Vicrul had grown up rough. Stealing and smuggling had put food in his mouth before Ren had found him. Ben could certainly work with that. "So you're the locks guy." He stated. 

Vicrul's dark eyes lit up. "Yeah. And what would You know about that, Jedi?"

Irritation flashed through Ben's gut. He stuffed the last of the ration bar in his mouth to keep from giving an angry answer. Vicrul was being nice to him and he didn't need to ruin that. Finally he answered, "my Uncle is a smuggler." He pictured Uncle Lando instead of his father. It made it a little easier to stomach. 

Vicrul grinned and crossed his arms over his narrow chest. It pulled his shirt tightly over his wide shoulders. He was thin, but muscular. "Really? Anyone I've ever heard of?"

A decade earlier, anyone hearing Ben's last name would have known exactly who his father was. He was thankful his father's reputation had fallen by the wayside. Shaking his head Ben replied, "not if he's any good." The lie rolled surprisingly easily off his tongue. He was absolutely not discussing his family with anyone. But he needed to get away from the squeaky clean Jedi image they were all projecting onto him. "He used to take me when he would make deals."

He got the desired reaction. Vicrul raised a dark eyebrow and looked interested. "Hmm. You may yet come in handy." He nodded and walked back towards the hallway. He grinned at the 'food' in Ben's hand. "If only you could cook." Ben could hear his door close as well. Alone in the kitchen, Ben ate the second bar, then went to the cupboard and got two more. He had no idea how many was supposed to be a meal, but he hadn't eaten in two cycles and he was starving. 

Ben was sitting at the table, eating the first of his new ration bars. He sensed when Trudgen entered the room from behind him; saw him sit in a chair across the table. 

"Hmmm." Said Trudgen, eyeing Ben's lunch? Breakfast? Ben wasn't even sure. "I certainly could use one of those."

Ben picked up the extra bar off the table and tossed it to him. Trudgen let it land with a skittering plunk in front of him. He looked at it; didn't pick it up. "Wow. They really do have you trained." He looked up. 

Ben gave him a questioning look. "What do you mean?" He crumpled the empty wrapper and eyed the other bar. Just sitting on the table. He was still hungry. 

Before he could consider lifting a hand to call the ration bar back to himself, Trudgen picked it up and primly unwrapped it. He carefully separated the top, then neatly opened the side along the seam. He folded it down exactly halfway and took a bite. He looked at Ben as he chewed. 

Finally he continued, "the Jedi. You could have just told me to go get my own. But you gave me one of yours, and I know you're still hungry. How very selfless of you." He took another bite, not looking away. 

Ben couldn't help but snort. He wasn't sure anyone had ever called him that before. "It's not like I can't just go get another one."

"Not the point." Trudgen pulled the wrapper down exactly one quarter more. "In our life things are taken. Not given. If you want something you have to go get it. And stop others from taking what you have."

Ben slumped back in his chair. He had known the Shadow had a different set of rules than the light. But about everything? "So is that what the Knights do? Take?"

Smirking, Trudgen took another bite, chewing and swallowing again before answering. "What did you think we did? Isn't that what we were doing the first time we met?"

"But from each other, too?

Trudgen frowned. "What do you mean?"

Ben spread his hands out. "Do you take from each other? I mean, I understand that the Shadow is more selfish. You take what you need, you take what you want. But, what about working together? Are you a united team? Or are the Knights of Ren just a bunch of mercenaries with only their own interest at heart? If I give you something you need, am I a fellow Knight? Or am I just weak?"

Trudgen looked surprised. "We do work together." He admitted. "Everyone having what they need makes the group stronger. Which gets everyone what they want. We can collaborate, and still have selfish ends."

"But that don't mean you gotta be nice, kid." Ren's voice broke in. They both snapped their heads towards the door. Neither of them had noticed Ren coming in. He walked in and plucked the last of the ration bar from Trudgen's hand, leaving him with the empty wrapper. He tossed it in his mouth, chewed. "The Knights of Ren are a good crew, we get along pretty good. But in the end, it's every man for himself. They all know that."

Ben looked at Ren, and then he looked at Trudgen. He held Ben's eyes for a moment, then crumpled the wrapper in his fist, and rose to go back into the galley. 

"So kid," Ren reclaimed his attention. "Whaddya think of the food on board?" He was grinning. 

The wrapper crinkled in Ben's grip. He thought about the meals he was fed at the school everyday. The meals that were cooked just for him at home. "It's nutritious." Ren laughed. 

"Yeah that sums it up. Hope you didn't think Snoke would have fed you any better. That's where these rations come from."

"Aren't these military rations?"

"Yup." Ren answered flippantly without elaborating, then walked out, making no more noise than when he had come in. 

Ben sat quietly for a moment. He released the wrapper and watched it slowly unfold itself from the ball he had forced it into. It rankled when Ren called him kid; it reminded him too much of his father. Then he thought about the way Ren had phrased his question. He hoped Ben hadn't thought Snoke would have fed him better. If he had ever gone to him. 

It was clear to Ben that Ren fully expected him to fail. He would get the Buzzard fixed and whatever he needed from Ben on their job; but he was already assuming he would end up killing him. Turning his head, Ben looked at the doorway Ren had disappeared through. He would need to be very careful, and very smart if he wanted to survive to even become a Knight. 

And even then . . .

Ben snatched the wrapper off the table and went back into the kitchen for another ration bar.

*** **

As Ben worked in the guts of the Buzzard, he watched as the Knights came and went. 

Ap'lek and Ushar exited, heads still pushed together, making their way across the tarmac. They disappeared outside, never having acknowledged anything behind their bubble.

Ben sat for a moment, staring at the empty hangar door. He remembered the images he had seen in Ushar's head the night before. Ushar was . . . Ben shook his head, hard. Not destructive, even though he left a wake of it. Curious. That invoked a child-like image that made Ben shiver. There was nothing childish about Ushar's . . . work. But he explored anatomy, pain, thresholds. And he had a code. A worthy opponent died faster. Those who begged or attempted to bribe him became further experiments.

Ben tried to shake off the images by thinking of Ap'lek's own reaction to Ben's intrusion on Ushar at the bar. He seemed to share a similar talent for reaching out to other's minds with Ben. But Ben had come to realize none of the Knights could control their powers. They used them, but it seemed unwitting. He tucked all that away and concentrated on what his hands were doing.

A while later, Cardo returned from somewhere, followed by two droids. Ben hadn't even seen him leave, but he stopped what he was doing to stare at his return. A little MSE skittered around Cardo's feet, a constant litany of beeps and whistles as it muttered, mostly to itself. It seemed even more agitated than the average MSE unit. What really caught his attention was the C4-LR unit that clomped along behind him. It was silver and humanoid, reminding Ben uncomfortably of C3-P0. But that was not why he was staring. 

C4 models were litigation models, designed for working in the legal system. Specifically, the Imperial legal system. 

Ben had heard rumors, from his father's circle of course, that the processing capabilities of C4 units could be used by smugglers as smart navigation tools, or extensions of a ship as a sort of emergency auto pilot. For sticky situations when, perhaps, the pilot was incapacitated or otherwise occupied (like being shot at during an escape). There were a lot of, often drunken, arguments as to how, or if it would even be feasible. The idea was hotly contested, either way. But it had all been hypothetical as C4 units had mostly been destroyed when the Empire fell. Too much sensitive information in their constantly-recording memory banks. Ben had never talked to someone who had actually seen one. 

Yet following right behind Cardo, a C4. It looked to be in pristine condition, too. Ben wondered where he gotten it. 

As if reading that last thought, Cardo paused with one foot on the gangway, leaning out towards Ben. "Mind your own damn business." He growled from behind his blank metal mask, then continued up into the Buzzard. 

Ben had no idea what Cardo had against him. The kitchen had been the first time he had even interacted with him at all. He was more curious about the C4 unit. 

With a long sigh Ben turned his attention back to the task at hand. His pile of loose parts had finally quit growing and he could possibly start to see some progress. He got back to work. 

*** **


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben spends some downtime with Trudgen and then burns off his excess energy with Vicrul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How I imagined the story would go before the final installment of the comic was released. In some ways not so different, in others . . .

Ben sat on the floor near his bunk and attempted to meditate, but his thought were too splintered. At the best of times he struggled to clear his mind; now he had the rift he was creating between his old life and his new. He sighed and opened his eyes. He had really only made the attempt because he was bored. There had been little to do once the repairs were done and they had hit hyperspace. 

He was greeted by the sight of Cardo leaning on his forearm in the doorway. His dark hair was buzzed short, except the swoop of fringe over his forehead. Even dressed down he was still visibly armed. "That won't do you much good here." He said, eyeing Ben flatly. There was a beeping and the modified MSE droid skittered through the door, caught sight of Ben and quickly retreated behind Cardo's feet. It peeked out at Ben, letting out a long string of binary. Ben understood it, but was surprised when Cardo glanced down. "Don't worry. He ain't nothing to be scared of." He dropped his arm and turned to go. He paused and said over his shoulder, "the Shadow don't want your quiet thoughts, kid. The Shadow expects action." He disappeared down the hall, MSE dogging his heels noisily. 

Ben sighed again and stood, stretching. They still had several hours before they arrived at the coordinates Snoke had sent them. Ren had said they were on a 'retrieval' mission, but Ren hadn't yet shared what they were after. 

Bored and restless, Ben wandered down the hall, glancing into the open doors along the way. After all the work he had done on board the Buzzard before leaving, he knew his way around well. Ushar and Ap'lek's room was neat, but disorganized. Vicrul's was an even bigger disaster than Kuruk's, which was just plain messy. Various electronics, locks and safe components covered every surface. Cardo's room was covered in partially built droids, and a workbench creaking under electro-boards and datapads. Ren's quarters were on the other side of the ship. He reached Trudgen's room at the end of the hall, to find him sitting on the edge of his bunk, polishing something very small. Ben stopped, curiosity once again trumping the manners everyone in his previous life had worked so hard to instill. If Trudgen wanted privacy, he should have closed his door. 

He leaned in the doorway, similarly to the way Cardo had. Looking into the room it struck him how very different it was from Kuruk's. Or really, anyone else's space. It was beyond neat and tidy. The level of cleanliness and organization spoke more to an obsessive personality than a neat freak. The walls were lined with neatly stacked and secured boxes; the only one out of place was open next to the bed. Trudgen ignored him for a moment, then finished what he was doing and looked up. "Come see." He held up what he had been polishing. 

Ben approached, squinting at the small object. "What is it?"

"It's a Vint'upe."

That tickled something in the back of Ben's mind. He leaned in closer for a better look. The object filled Trudgen's large palm. It was flat and gray and looked like . . .

"Well shit." Breathed Ben. He started to reach out, stopped himself. Then, with a glance to Trudgen, who was watching him closely, he picked up the object. "Is this really from Geonosis?"

Looking pleased, but puzzled Trudgen hummed. "Yes, it is. It's one of the sacred rocks from the hive Queen's chambers. How do you know what it is?"

Ben turned it over and inspected the runes that were carved on it. Uncle Luke had wanted to learn everything he could about the Jedi from before Order 66. He had managed to meet with a very old Clone that had survived the multiple wars and everything in between, and still managed to somehow maintain his freedom. Ben had traveled with Luke, and been allowed to sit in on the conversation. The old Clone had told many stories. He wasn't about to tell Trudgen that. 

Instead he dropped the Vint'upe back into Trudgen's hand. "I got an eclectic education."

"He was a smuggler." Came a voice from the hallway. Ben turned to find himself face to face with Vicrul. He smirked and looked over Ben's shoulder to Trudgen.

In response, Trudgen snapped his hand closed over the stone. Then he looked with interest at Ben. "A smuggler? Really now."

Ben glanced uncomfortably between the two. He needed to build up a reputation, but he also needed it to be credible. "I came from a family of smugglers." He amended. "I got sent away to school before I could put much of it into practice. But I grew up around it."

Trudgen looked down at his closed hand, then back at Ben. He seemed to make a decision. "Well then, in that case . . ."

But Vicrul interrupted. "Trudgen is boring and I'm horny."

Ben looked down in surprise as Vicrul's long fingers wrapped around his wrist. Vicrul tugged and smiled at him, eyes sweeping his body suggestively. "C'mon Ben, we can think of something more fun to do than look at these dusty trinkets."

"They're hardly trinkets." Trudgen's voice reminded Ben of some of the more cultured Senators he had grown up around. "They're certainly worth more than anything you keep lying around." He sniffed in Vicrul's direction, then looked at Ben. "Go with him, if you wish. If it's fun you value."

Vicrul laughed, his heavily accented Basic ringing back to Trudgen as he pulled Ben into the hallway. "Oh, there's definitely value in my kind of fun." He glanced back at Ben, pulling him closer as they got a few doors away from Trudgen's. Resting his back to the wall he drew Ben closer still, holding onto his wrist. 

Ben wasn't certain what to think. Vicrul was being very forward; there was no doubt what he was wanting. It had been several cycles since Kuruk had fucked him in the shop, and they hadn't shared a bed since. There was no reason to think it was any kind of commitment. The idea was even more foreign to Ben than having a single partner, but he tried it out.

Vicrul grinned. "So, what do you say, Ben Solo. Did you want to have some fun?" His free hand touched Ben's throat, then slid down his front to hook onto his belt. He tugged again and Ben stepped against him. 

"Yeah, why not?" Ben breathed, wanting to sound more sure of himself but failing. He wondered if he should admit his inexperience or try to bluff his way through. Ben had always been terrible at bluffing. 

Vicrul saved him the trouble. "So, was Kuruk your first, or are you about to teach me something new?"

Ben blushed. "Yeah, he was. How did you . . ." He hoped Kuruk hadn't gone bragging to the other Knights. Not behind his back, anyway. It was bad enough Ren had known. 

Laughing, Vicrul breathed over his jawline. "No one had to say anything. It was written all over you when you came back." His fingers drifted along his belt to his back, then slid down to cup Ben's ass. "You looked much more relaxed than when you left." Ben leaned against him as Vicrul's lips nibbled his earlobe. "Let's help you relax."

Vicrul's mouth found Ben's and he kissed him. Ben let him take the lead, still uncertain in his technique. Vicrul's kisses were much different from Kuruk's: languid and slow, matching the movement of his hands.

After a moment Ben thought to use his own hands too. He placed them on Vicrul's hips to start, but they soon found their way under his shirt. Vicrul's stomach and chest were hard muscle, but lean and Ben could feel every rib and ridge as he ran his hands over the smooth skin. Vicrul shivered as hands slid over his ribs, then gave a little gasp when Ben's fingertip found one of his nipples. 

Ben was surprised at how quickly he was becoming hard, even though they hadn't quickened their pace. Vicrul's hand was still kneading his ass, the other slid off his wrist to start on his belt.

Once the belt was undone he worked on undoing Ben's pants. Ben pulled away enough to look down. "What . . ."

"Oh, I'm going to suck that cock." Vicrul grinned.

Ben looked around. They were still in the hallway. "Here?"

Vicrul laughed and slid his back down the wall. "Absolutely. But don't worry, I'll take you to bed to fuck you."

Ben gulped. It was less about being seen by the other Knights than it was about feeling it was a private moment. He felt vulnerable enough doing something he wasn't confident in yet. 

Then he looked down at the top of Vicrul's head. His black hair fell over his forehead and across his eyes. Ben's cock sprang out of his pants and into Vicrul's hand. And then he was taking him in his mouth. 

The sensation was unlike anything he had felt before. Unlike a hand, the only thing he knew, it wasn't rough, or calloused or uneven. Vicrul's mouth was hot and wet and sweet as it moved over him. His tongue wrapped around Ben and added a sensation unlike any other. He couldn't help gasping out, catching himself with one hand on the wall, the other sliding into Vicrul's hair. He fought to not grip it, or to push him further down over him. 

Vicrul grabbed his ass again with one hand, but the other worked it's way into his clothes to find his balls. Ben gave a full body shudder as Vicrul swallowed around him and squeezed with his hand. There was a rumbling sensation over Ben's cock, vibrating him into a loud moan. He realized Vicrul was laughing around him. He squeezed his balls again, then his fingers pushed further back. 

A shot of arousal went through Ben, thinking Vicrul was going to finger him. But instead, his fingers stopped to press firmly, right inbetween. Then he renewed his movements with his mouth, taking Ben a little deeper with each pass.

The pressure of Vicrul's fingers was doing something, inside of him, but he had no idea what. He just knew it felt incredible. He felt a slow building of his orgasm, partly from Vicrul's hot mouth, partly from that pressure inside. It was all so different from what he had experienced with Kuruk, which had seemed to be all at once. 

Instead, the pressure kept building, traveling through his cock, up his spine, pooling in his gut. 

He was so wrapped up in the electricity traveling through his body he barely even noticed Ushar pushing his way past, complaining that the hallway was too narrow for such activities. Otherwise, he didn't seem to care and Ben was far beyond it. 

Ben let out a low groan and tightened his fingers. "Oh shit, I'm so close." He managed to croak. Instead of pulling off, Vicrul gripped Ben's ass and took him even deeper. Then he held him there, swallowing around him and pressing more firmly with his fingers. 

The combination was too much for Ben, the rolling electricity came to a head and it was like a shock to his whole body. The current traveled through him, causing his muscles to twitch, him to lose control of his voice, of everything outside of the intense pleasure wracking his body.

He slowly came down as everything receded back to where Vicrul's fingers pressed into his skin. Vicrul slid his mouth off, licking his lips and wiping the saliva and come off his chin. Ben watched with slightly unfocused eyes. He thought it was the hottest thing he had ever seen, even in his spent state. Ben practically dragged Vicrul up from the floor and he kissed him, hard. He could taste himself in his mouth, and feel his hard cock pressing into his hip. 

Pulling away from the kiss Ben cupped him. Vicrul gasped and closed his eyes, grinning. "Do you want the same?" Ben offered.

Vicrul grabbed Ben's shoulders and directed him across the hall to Vicrul's room. "I told you what I wanted. Now strip."

Ben didn't even look around, he was too busy pulling off his boots and other layers. He cursed the many buttons down the front of his shirt. Vicrul laughed but didn't help; he was having his own problems. Not least of which was trying to get his clothes off over his hard cock.

While he was finishing Ben fell to his knees in front of him. Vicrul started to protest but Ben shut him up by stroking him firmly. "Just a taste." He said, and took him in his mouth. 

He was shaped very differently from Kuruk, and had a different flavor and smell. Ben found he liked both. As he stroked Vicrul with his mouth, tongue and hands he found he liked it very much. Sucking cock was definitely something Ben wanted to do more of. He was already starting to get hard again. 

But Vicrul was having none of it. He pushed Ben off. "Enough, get on the bed."

Ben stood and faced the bed, stroking his hardening cock. He paused. "Uh, how do you want me?" He had only had it against the wall before. He had no idea how else it could be done. 

Vicrul was busy digging through a drawer, presumably for lube. "I don't care." He found the lube and started pouring it over himself. When he looked at Ben he had a feral expression. "However you like . . . Oh." He seemed to try and pull himself together. Finally he groaned as he stroked his lubed cock. "Hands and knees." He gasped with a shake of his head. 

Ben climbed onto the bed and immediately Vicrul's hands were on him. He muttered to himself as he worked, first one finger, then two, then three into Ben's ass. Ben was gasping by the time he was done, his voice almost as desperate sounding as Vicrul's when he said, "I'm ready. Just do it."

The bed creaked and Vicrul was against him, slowly pressing inside. They both moaned and paused to breath heavily once he was fully seated. 

"Fuck." Muttered Vicrul. His hands were on Ben's hips. "You're so tight." He gave a testing thrust and Ben's eyes rolled back in his head. 

It felt so good that even as Ben heard two of the Knights walking by in the hallway talking, and he realized the door was still open, he couldn't have cared less. All he could focus on was Vicrul moving inside of him, faster now. Each time he drew out further and pushed in harder. Ben cried out.

"Ah, that sensitive prostate. I'll make you come again, just see." Vicrul gasped out. Then he changed his angle again and suddenly there was an electric shock through Ben's body. Ben yelled out loud, his arms trembling as they supported him. Vicrul laughed breathily and hit the spot again. Ben's arms gave out and his face and chest hit the mattress. 

"Oh yeah." Vicrul barely managed to mumble as he sped his thrusts and hit the same spot over and over. "Wanna feel you come around my cock."

All he managed after that was grunts and moans, but Ben hardly noticed. He had enough presence of mind to wrap a hand around his cock, but the pressure in his ass would probably have made him come all by itself. Still, he squeezed and pulled, feeling his second orgasm coming on fast. 

Finally, with Vicrul huffing and pounding into him from above, and his own hand working him from below, Ben succumbed a second time. His vision whited out, and he knew nothing except the intensity of the feelings shooting through his body. 

He was finally aware of Vicrul's thrusts becoming urgent, his hot spend flowing into him. Ben could hardly tell who was making more noise. 

They both ended up collapsed flat onto the bed, Vicrul splayed across Ben's back even as his cock slipped out of him. 

Eventually, Vicrul had the energy to roll off, laying on his back and still breathing hard towards the ceiling. Finally, he slapped Ben on the ass and laughed breathlessly. 

"See, I told you that would be more fun than Trudgen's stuffy old collection."

Ben didn't even have the energy to think of an answer.

*** **

Trudgen seemed put out with Ben the when he finally made it out of Vicrul's room. Ben didn't think he was jealous of the sex, necessarily. He had searched Trudgen's mind enough to know he wasn't terribly interested in sex; didn't feel it was a worthy way to spend time. But he was definitely not happy Ben had left him to spend time with Vicrul. 

Ben wondered if he should try and make it up to him, but didn't even know where to start. Perhaps it was better to just let him get over it. It was what everyone had been trying to teach him.

*** **


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has been given the quick course in his studies. It's time to apply what he's learned and see if he can survive his trials.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of death in this chapter (by Ben and others), but it's not particularly graphic.

Ben was killing time, sitting in the lounge and watching Cardo's MSE droid fuss and run in circles. It's programming apparently ran to more high strung than usual, as Ben had yet to see it ever sitting quietly. 

From what he could tell, it was looking for something. It was hard to make out the muttered beeps, but with the occasional outburst Ben finally figured out what it was looking for. 

He whistled to the MSE, it stopped and turned in his direction. "It's in the cockpit. Kuruk had me take it in there before we took off."

The droid let out a long stream of binary and Ben grinned. "You could be a little more appreciative." He called out as the droid rolled away, still squealing and beeping as it disappeared. 

Ushar walked in, turning his head to follow the droid down the hallway. "What was that all about?"

"He was looking for one of Cardo's tools. It wasn't where he left it."

Ushar sat across from Ben, eyeing him with his big Sullustan eyes. "We're almost there. Ren called a meeting."

Ben stretched his back. He once again had a sting in his ass, but he didn't mind. Instead, he asked "does he have a plan? Or do you guys just land and wing it?" Ben had been known to roll with the punches, but they didn't even know what the job was yet. 

"You'll see." Ushar turned as the rest of the Knights filed in. Trudgen made Ben move over so he could sit at the Dejarik table. Ben had yet to see anyone play it. He ended up sandwiched in between Trudgen and Ushar, who had moved over to make room for Ap'lek on the other end of the bench. Cardo stood in the doorway with his MSE under his feet, humming to itself as it rocked back and forth. From across the room, Ben could count five visible weapons. Kuruk joined them as well, not needed back in the cockpit until they dropped out of hyperspace. 

Ren came in last. He stood just inside the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. His scars were livid in the stark light of the room. "All right boys. Snoke has us on a retrieval mission. He only wants one thing, the rest is ours. Should be a good haul, looking at where we're headed. Trudgen, what's the plan?"

Using the Dejarik table as a port, Trudgen plugged a data stick in and brought up images of house plans and security schedules. Flipping through them, Trudgen studied them closely for several minutes. 

Curious, Ben skimmed his mind. He was surprised to discover that Trudgen was unfamiliar with the information; it was his first time seeing it. Ren had only just given it to him. However, Ben had to admire the fact that he was already rapidly forming a plan. It was a relief, as they would be landing soon. 

While Trudgen worked, Ben turned his attention to Ren. He was talking to Cardo, though Ben didn't care about what. He wanted to know what Snoke had sent them for and why Ren was being cagey about it. It only took a moment of skimming to realize: Ren didn't know. Snoke had said they would know when they found it. Maybe sooner. 

Ben was pondering what game Snoke might be playing as he withdrew from Ren's consciousness. As he turned back to Trudgen, he realised Ap'lek was staring at him again. Ben stared back, nudging gently at Ap'lek's own mind. His stare became more confused. Ben withdrew as he turned back to Trudgen. 

Trudgen whirled his hands and scattered the various images over the table. The image of an orange skinned Twi'lek spun slowly . "Meet Ard Thremor." Said Trudgen, changing the image to blueprints of a large estate. "This is his compound on Flertin 3 where he keeps his extensive collection."

"Collection of what?" Ren asked pointedly. 

"Whatever he can get his hands on that is considered priceless or one of a kind. Preferably both." With a flick of his hand another face appeared, this time a Trandoshan. "The majority of his security team is human. But this gentleman, Ock Randthon, is the head of security. He apparently has a long history of thwarting theft of Ard's collection, from both the inside and out."

Trudgen pointed back to the map. "We land here. There are guards here and here," he pointed with his long graceful fingers. "We'll need to get into the compound, through the main building, and down into the cellars underneath the courtyard. That's where we'll find the vault. I suspect what we're looking for is there." He pointed to various spots along the route. "There are more guards here, here, and here. As well, there is a barracks at the back of the courtyard, so we'll quickly have company. Vicrul will be needed at these two junctures," he pointed to the main doorway and the entrance to the cellar. "As well as at least the opening of the vault. I feel there will be another lock inside, however." Vicrul cracked his knuckles loudly in response. 

Ben was looking at the map as well. He pointed to a hallway that seemed to lead more directly to the vault. "Why aren't we going this way?"

Trudgen looked haughtily down his long nose at Ben. "Because that is not the way the Ren leads us." He closed the program with a snap, then got up and shouldered his way out of the room. 

Ren grinned and winked at him. He followed Vicrul and Cardo out. Ben could hear the MSE all the way down the hall. 

Ushar and Ap'lek got up to leave as well, Ben stopped them with a "what just happened?" 

Ushar stood surveying him. "Trudgen always knows." He walked away, leaving Ap'lek and Ben alone. 

"I know what you're doing." Ap'lek said as Ben climbed to his feet. They stared at each other for a moment. Ben shrugged him off, heading towards the door. 

"I'm sure you do."

*** **

Ren and the Knights filed off the ship, gathering at the bottom of the gangway to inspect their target. 

It was the first time Ben had seen all of them fully masked and armed since his first night among them. It seemed strange after seeing them dressed down, or in even less, for so many days. 

There was shouting and Ben's attention was drawn to the compound before them. Figures could be seen running across the high walls before them. Kuruk had landed right at the front gate, and they had all emerged armed to the teeth. 

Except for Ben. For the first time, he felt a little naked with just his plain clothes and his lightsaber. He briefly wondered if he would recieve armour and a mask as well, if he joined the knights. 

The 'if' reminded Ben he needed to focus. This was his opportunity to--do what he needed in order to be accepted; earn his apprenticeship with Snoke. He pulled his lightsaber from it's place on his shoulder and stood prepared. 

They stood for a moment longer, the tension and the shouting from the wall building. 

Finally Ren turned his masked face to them. "Well C'mon boys. Let's go get our shit." The sound of the lightsaber igniting, the shouts from the wall, and the roar from the Knights as they charged the gate, overwhelmed Ben's hearing. 

Ren and Ben deflected the blaster bolts that began raining down on them. The Knight's armor deflected or absorbed it. With a sweep of his arm Ben sent an energy pulse back into the compound. There was an explosion and part of the wall crumbled. The shouting turned to screams. 

Ren stopped just short of the closed gate. He stood for a moment, the Ren still lit in his hand. Ben was too busy to watch him, but he felt the rush of air as the gate swelled outward, then imploded in on itself. More screams filled the air. They climbed over what was left of the gate and whomever was underneath it. 

After a short firefight they regrouped in a hallway. Vicrul sounded as though he was actually pouting. "I was gonna do that lock. It was an easy one."

Ren slapped him on the shoulder. "You can have the next one." He nodded to Kuruk, who shouldered his rifle and sprinted down the hall, away from the rest. Then they were moving again. 

They paused at the hallway Ben had suggested they take. He looked at Ren in confusion as they stood for a moment. Then he heard binary and turned towards Cardo. Two tiny OG-2 spider droids skittered out of his open palm to the floor; one went up the wall and disappeared into the ducts, while the other followed the seam of wall and floor until it disappeared around the next corner. Cardo stood, tapping a blinking light on his vambrace and looked at Ben. "What are you waiting for?" And they continued down the hall. 

They met occasional resistance, easily dispatched by Ren's saber or various Knight's weapon. Twice they were set upon from behind, Ben bringing up the back and blocking their blaster bolts with his saber. He killed three by deflecting their bolts back at them, one he cut down as he attempted to blindside him, and four with their own explosive by dragging and depositing them directly on top of where it landed at his feet. Trudgen nodded at him, but he knew Ren wouldn't count those as good deaths. He didn't want any of them dead; he only wanted to not be dead himself. 

"Where's everyone at?" Ren wondered aloud as he fingered an abstract, oversized sculpture. It vaguely resembled a human and a wookie fighting, but Ben couldn't really tell. It looked expensive and too large for the hallway nook it was crammed into. His mother would have considered it gaudy. 

Ben pushed his mother from his mind. 

As if reading that mind, Ren turned sharply to him. "Where's everyone at?" He repeated. Closing his eyes, Ben concentrated. He spread his consciousness over the compound, dilating away from where they were standing. 

"There's still a few more approaching from the South, maybe ten down the hallway with the droids . . . The courtyard. The Trandoshan and the rest of the men are in the courtyard, guarding the cellar entrance." He opened his eyes in time to see Ren nod to Cardo. He raised his arm and hit another series of buttons. A muffled explosion caused Ben to whirl and look back the way they had come. He could feel the vibration through his boots, as well as the force. 

He turned back to Ren, who pointed at him. "That's why you don't go the obvious way. They know where we're heading, but we don't gotta make picking us off easy. Let's go."

They were close to the courtyard, separating to cover the entrance when they reached it. It looked empty, but Ben could sense otherwise. Without saying anything he walked around the other Knights, standing in the exposed entryway. His lightsaber hummed into the open space. He glanced at Ren, who nodded at him. 

He stepped cautiously out into the courtyard, once again stretching out his consciousness. There were guards, a lot of them. They had them heavily outnumbered, in fact. There were plenty of places to conceal themselves, the courtyard was full of more questionable standing artwork, and arbors and privacy walls. 

"There's about forty of them." Ben murmured over his shoulder to Ren.

"Well, damn. They coulda given us a challenge." There was the sound of blaster fire behind them, the thump of falling bodies. After a moment, Ren stepped up next to Ben. "C'mon boys, no use standing here looking pretty. Let's get to work." He stepped out into the open courtyard. 

Ben could sense every being in the courtyard, feel their intent to kill them. But it didn't help him weed out where the first blast was going to come from. He turned towards movement out of the corner of his eye. Before he could even register a figure, there was a crack from above and the person was thrown backwards. 

Across the courtyard someone else stood to take aim, they met the same fate. 

Ben's brain finally caught up as two more guards went down, bang, bang. Kuruk was on the roof with his sniper's rifle. He was hitting targets like he knew they were there. Or like he knew where the next shot was going to be coming from. 

Just as he realized Kuruk was prescient, there was a loud command from the courtyard and an explosion of activity; the guards stood as one and started firing. Ren and Ben deflected as the Knights surrounded them. Cardo's arm cannon made the air vibrate every time it went off. 

Ushar and Ap'lek charged a group to the right, partially concealed behind an arbour. Ap'lek's vibrocleaver left a trail of body parts as Ushar's loaded war club made Ben's ears pop with each concussive strike. 

Kuruk continued firing, able to strike down anyone that was preparing to fire upon himself. Ben kept deflecting blaster bolts, working his way close enough to take down a guard with his lightsaber. He struck one, calling the blaster of another to his hand until he could turn and dispatch them as well. 

In the back of his mind he realized killing made him feel nothing at all. There was no Jedi voice telling him to preserve life, not take it. He didn't feel the darkness singing in his veins as he stole life from the random guards that lay scattered behind him. He felt empty. Unsatisfied.

A few moments later Vicrul sprinted past him, heading towards the cellar door. Turning, Ben watched as Ren shove the Ren through Ock Randthon's heart, watched the head of security slip to the ground in a lifeless heap. A quick search revealed Ren, the Knights and Ben were the only ones left alive. He searched further through the compound. It seemed to be empty. Kuruk joined them as they gathered around Vicrul, who was kneeling eye level with the security lock panel. 

"Where's the Twi'lek?" Ben asked as he stepped up beside Ren.

"Don't give a shit." Ren answered. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest and he was concentrating on Vicrul. 

Trudgen spoke, eyes also on Vicrul. "Security protocol was that the family be immediately removed if the compound was breached."

Frowning, Ben turned his attention to Vicrul, who was muttering to himself as he manipulated the security board. To himself, or so Ben thought. He listened more closely. 

"C'mon sweetheart, just one more connection. Almost there, you little beauty, almost . . ." There was a click and the door slid open. 

Ben stood blinking as everyone else filed into the cellar door and down the wide staircase. No dark and dank cellar here. Everything was well lit and top of the line. A skittering in the courtyard had Ben turning quickly. Cardo's spider droids ran past him and disappeared down the stairs. He could hear Cardo talking to them, praising them. Behind his soothing words, Ben could hear yelling and soon after, screams. There were more guards at the vault to be dealt with. Ben started towards the entrance when suddenly the world rolled. He stumbled, accosted by a sudden terror that ripped through his gut. It took a moment of frantic, panting breaths to realize it wasn't his fear he was feeling. Very, very tentatively, Ben extended the force below. He carefully avoided the guard that was broadcasting so strongly; he poked around a little to see who was nearby. Unsurprisingly, the source of the man's fear was Ushar. Ben took a breath to steady himself. Just the fact that Ren had unleashed Ushar, and that he was capable of producing force terror was enough to knock Ben sideways again.

It didn't take long for the man's heart to give out. Then Ben could hear Vicrul's voice again, almost cooing to the next lock. As he allowed the sound to push away the last of the horror, he remembered what Vicrul had called his lock-breaking. 'Sweet talking'. He had discovered a way to control his force power, without even realizing what he was doing. 

Ben took his time joining the others downstairs. He was still lost in his own mind, waiting to feel something other than emptiness or terror. Then suddenly, he became . . . Aware. 

Ren turned as he shouldered past, ignoring Vicrul, still talking to the lock. It wasn't the one he had been practicing on, but it was still sophisticated and expensive. Ben touched his fingertips to the door, feeling his awareness being pulled--inside, to something in the vault. He closed his eyes and concentrated, the locks falling open before him, clicking and sliding their well-oiled gears. The door slid open under his hand. 

"Hey!" Vicrul protested loudly. "I almost had that one!"

Ben vaguely heard Ren's laugh, it sounded very far away. Everything seemed very far away, his vision and mind narrowed down to only the thought of what he needed to find. 

It was on the far end of the vault, within a secondary locker. Once again feeling the lock open for him, as though it had been keyed to him specifically, Ben reached to open the safe. 

He blinked, as though he had been asleep, staring into the locker in shock. Part of him had known, shouldn't have been surprised. And yet, he was. 

"Well damn." Came a voice from behind him, the reality of place coming crashing back into Ben's mind. He acutely felt Ren's presence behind him, the other Knights in the room, their noises assaulting his ears. Ben took a sudden, deep breath and came completely back to himself. To what lay before him. 

"Is that who I think it is?" Ren asked. Ben nodded, not needing to ask who he thought it was. 

"That's the mask of Darth Vader. My Grandfather."

"Fuck, it really is. Wait, what do ya mean, Grandfather?"

"his daughter is Senator Organa's, and I'm her son. Well, she was Senator Organa."

Ren snorted. "I don't know nothing about that. But I do remember something about a woman being accused of being his daughter a while back. That was her? Your mother?"

Ben nodded. He was still numb, but now it seemed more like shock. 

Then he felt a sharp pain across his shoulder. That woke him up--it was Ren slapping him. "Damn that Snoke. He coulda just told me who I was taking on. No wonder you got such a sweet deal."

Ben turned his head and Ren was staring at him; Ben wasn't sure when he had removed his mask. His eyes seemed more intense than usual, and he was rumpled from their fight through the compound. Ben caught his breath and Ren leaned in. "Didn't know we had a celebrity onboard."

"I'm nobody." Breathed Ben, caught up in Ren's stare, the tension in his body. 

"Don't sell yourself short kid. Look, you did good today, but still no good death. You know none of those counted."

Ben nodded.

"And you're already getting special treatment. On account of being some big shot."

Ben nodded, not bothering to argue. But he did glance down as Ren palmed himself suggestively. He was already hard under his hand. 

"Think I could use some relief. It's always hard to come down after a good fight. So why don't you put that mouth of yours to good use." The hand on his shoulder pressed down. 

Ben felt his cock stirring with interest. He wanted to suck Ren, wanted to feel another cock in his mouth. Feel it down his throat, feel it come in him for the first time. He dropped to his knees, watched as Ren pulled himself out, stroked himself in front of Ben's face. He gulped. Ren was more than a mouthful. 

"You can swallow down my cock right here, right in front of your famous Granddaddy. We can celebrate--wev did good here, together." He slid his cockhead between Ben's lips. His tongue swirled over it, tasting the saltiness of his precome. Ren pressed further in. "And you can be reminded no matter if you're famous or not," he pressed in further, stretching Ben's jaw. He grabbed a handful of hair. "Right here is your place." He shoved all the way into Ben's throat, making him gag. 

Ren let out a pleased moan, pulled back just slightly, then shoved back in. He started fucking Ben's throat, groaning and chasing his pleasure, not caring about Ben. Just using him. 

It was wrong. Ben should have felt strong, invincible. He had killed and not cared. He had found his grandfather's helmet, been led straight to it. Snoke had given him this. He should be the one commanding, shoving his own cock down Ren's throat. 

But Ben couldn't deny how hard his own cock was, as he choked in Ren's, eyes tearing and spilling down his cheeks. He wanted more, even as he gasped for breath in the short moments Ren wasn't cutting off his air. He undid his pants just enough the shove a hand in, pulling desperately on his cock. Moving fast, matching Ren's unrelenting pace, he could already feel his orgasm coming on. Everything that he hadn't felt killing those men, he felt now, all the way in his bones. Through the force itself. 

Ren's hips stuttered and he gave a low growl. Ben's stomach flipped and he squeezed his eyes shut as Ren shoved all the way in and froze. Ben could feel him shaking, knew that he was about to unload himself inside him. Ben felt himself losing control, his own come starting to spill over his hand. 

Letting out a loud gasp, Ren came, Ben swallowing as best as he could. He tried not to lose any, but he could feel it dribbling down his chin with the saliva that had spilled out. 

He didn't realize how painful Ren's grip on his hair was until his hand relaxed. He let his cock slide from Ben's lips, wiping the dribbled come and saliva from his chin with his thumb. He fed it back into Ben's mouth and he eagerly sucked it off. He pulled his thumb back, gave Ben a sharp tap on the cheek. "Now clean yourself up." Ben looked down at his own soiled hand. Carefully lifting it up and out of his pants, he looked at Ren as he licked it clean of his own come. 

"Good boy." Ren said, and put himself away. 

Ben watched him walked away, waiting until he had finally calmed before he zipped back up and stood. He looked at his Grandfather's mask, twisted and burned but still Him.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Ben leaned over the locker, his shadow covering the mask into deeper darkness. "Grandfather." His voice was hoarse, his throat raw. "Show me the way I need to go. Show me how to reach my darkness." His whispers were suddenly drowned out by shouting. 

Ben reached out with the force. The other Jedi, ones he thought he had already killed, were down in the vault with them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's past shows up to be dealt with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben finally gets a good death or more.

Ben didn't turn from Vader's mask. He continued to stare at it while he listened to the erupting chaos at the other end of the vault. The Knights were firing at the two Jedi with a variety of weapons; but as large as the vault was, it was still an enclosed, underground space. If they collapsed the high ceiling they would all be dead, one way or another. He could feel Cardo itching for an explosion, all of their frustrations as their opponents eluded them. Except for Ren; he was as cocky and assured as ever. There was a crash and the sound of broken glass. 

Ben could still feel his blood rushing through his veins. All his power, the rush of death, the humiliation of being used by Ren: it finally filled his chest. He took a ragged breath, he was in no way in control. He turned from Vader's helmet. 

The high-ceilinged room was filled with tall display cases, broken by the occasional lone showcase. He could see flashes of movement through the glass, between the cases. Mostly it was the Knights, but then a figure rounded the corner and Tai was crouched before him. His lightsaber hummed between them as Tai slowly stood, looking Ben in the eye. 

They each said nothing for a long time. Vaguely, Ben was aware of yelling, apparent pursuit, a crashing sound. But it didn't quite register as he stood looking at the man who had been the closest thing he'd had to a friend, since he had been at school. 

He couldn't decide if he should speak, but his feet seemed rooted to the ground. One voice in his head urged him to draw his lightsaber. Kill the Jedi. Another voice fighting it's way up his throat was an apology, a plea. Ben couldn't bring himself to do either. Not yet. 

Tai finally spoke. "Ben," he took half a step, reached a tentative hand, didn't lower his saber. "Why are you here? What are you doing with these maniacs?"

Ben was still struggling with his two choices, frozen for his indecision. He owed the Knights nothing. Ren was just using him: for his mechanical skills, his force power, for Ren's own pleasure. Would there be any way that Ren would accept him? Was he planning on killing him no matter what?

'Ren knows who you are now' the one voice said. 'He won't kill you, Snoke wouldn't allow it'. But Ben didn't want to be accepted because of his family, or who he knew. That was one reason he didn't want to remain a Jedi. He wanted it to be about who He was, who Ben was and his own power. For once. 

Tai motioned with his hand. "Come back with us, Ben. I don't know what happened at the academy; but you'll have the chance to tell your story."

"He tried to kill me." Ben finally spoke, surprising even himself. His voice was still rough, reminding him of what Ren had done. How he had gotten off on it. He suddenly flushed with shame for the first time in weeks, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand in case there was any evidence left. 

"Luke tried to kill me." He said again, his voice clearer and a little stronger. Behind him, his Uncle wanted him dead. Ahead, Ren was planning on killing him, given the opportunity. He growled. "So I brought the building down on his head." With more force, "I was protecting myself!"

Tai held his hand out steadily, like he was dealing with a wild animal. Or a maniac. "I know. But the whole school . . . Ben, the whole school?" He blinked as though the idea had just become real to him. 

Shaking his head hard, chest suddenly tight, Ben gasped out, "I don't know what happened! It just . . . It wasn't me!" It felt like a lie. There was the overwhelming realization that no matter what happened, what he said, how guilty Luke looked, it would all fall on Ben. There was no going back. He saw the look on Tai's face as he watched Ben reach for, ignite, his lightsaber. "But no one's going to believe that." Tai grasped his hilt with both hands and parried the vicious blow Ben aimed at his head. 

He released his pain and frustration from the last week: the shock of waking up to Luke, having killed his fellow students, trying to become part of the Knights-- even knowing Ren was just using him, and his anger at himself for allowing it. Ben struck again and again, driving Tai back, out of the corner and down one of the aisles. 

He was vaguely conscious of the Knights running down other aisles, separated by the glass and artifacts. There was yelling, but eventually Ben realized it was his own voice. 

Tai never once tried to strike back--not that Ben was giving him much opportunity. He simply stopped each of Ben's wild blows, meeting his fury with a calm concentration. Ben felt himself tiring, his frustration and anger draining away, his lightsaber slowing, his steps faltering. 

He pinned Tai's lightsaber point to the ground, the two energy beams cracking where they met. They were both breathing hard. They stared at each other for a long moment, Tai's bright eyes looking critically at Ben. Suddenly, his face cracked into a broad smile, just a shade too wary to be a grin. 

"Feel better?"

Ben's eyebrows pulled together tightly, then he shoved down hard, forcing Tai's lightsaber out of his hands. It rolled harmlessly away. Both men were still leaning towards each other, the point of Ben's saber now sizzling into the hard surface below. Tai's smile was gone, but he didn't look angry. He raised his hands and slowly knelt on the floor before Ben. "You won't hurt me, and you know I won't hurt you."

Ben huffed but didn't move. 

"You said you were protecting yourself. I believe you. I would stand up for you, Ben."

"They wouldn't believe me, not about what Luke did." Ben's voice was low, but he didn't feel calm. He felt numb again, all fury having been driven out by his outburst. "They won't believe you either. They know you're my friend," he stumbled over the word, "and they know my reputation. They're all afraid of me." He stood, pulling his saber back, but he kept it ignited. "And they all should be."

"No Ben." Said Tai. He knelt calmly with his hands over his thighs. "If Master Luke attacked you, then he has probably been harboring these thoughts for a while. You're strength is in reading people's emotions, their thoughts. Even if you didn't know really what he was thinking, his interactions with you would have been infused with his doubts, his fears, his aggression. It's no wonder you finally lashed out the way you did."

Ben latched onto that idea. "He drove me to it . . ." His forehead winked tightly again. 

"Yes." Said Tai. "They will surely understand. Everything he taught you was laced with his feelings towards you. You absorbed all that, unintentionally. It's highly extenuating. You don't have to run away, Ben. Come back with us. We'll help you explain it all."

The "us" reminded Ben of where he was, what he was doing there, and who else was in the vault. He snapped his head up and saw he was surrounded by Ren and the other Knights. They watched from the nearby aisles. He turned back to Tai. "Voe is dead."

"Not by your hand, Ben."

Ben stared at Tai, kneeling so quietly, so calmly. He considered how, even under perfect conditions, he had never achieved that level of calm. He was no Jedi, he never had been. That was just what his family and everyone around him wanted him to be. He could never go back to that. But he wasn't sure what to do about Tai.

He took a breath to speak, but his eye was caught by a gesture from Ren. It wasn't aimed at Ben; Ren and Kuruk were both looking above his head, and Ren's gesture was to stay Kuruk's movement. 

Ben extended his force senses and found Voe's presence, just as she dropped to the ground behind him. 

He stared daggers at Tai, realization hitting him like a cruiser going to lightspeed. "You." He growled, whirling quickly to position himself behind Tai, hauling him to his feet to act as a shield between himself and Voe. "You." He growled again, directly into Tai's ear. "You were just the distraction."

Tai sighed, "I didn't say anything I didn't believe. But I knew you never would."

"Your plan was to kill me all along."

"Only if you refused to give up this madness."

"You're not offering anything better." Ben whispered into his ear as his lightsaber slipped between his ribs. Ben could feel the remorse, regret, rolling off Tai in waves. Regret for dying? Regret for betraying Ben? He wanted to believe that as much as he didn't. But it was too late for that to matter.

Ben turned his attention to Voe as she stared in horror at the tip of blue protruding from Tai's chest. Her eyes darted to Ben's and her face contorted as she screamed "monster! I warned Tai, you aren't worth saving."

Ben yanked back the lightsaber and let Tai crumple to his feet. "I don't need saving."

Voe leaped forward, slashing wildly. Ben parried her easily. With another movement he knocked her saber point away. "Luke was the one trying to kill me. If I'm a monster then it's his own doing!"

Making another wild arc with her saber, the two circled each other. The tips of their weapons clashed against each other with a loud buzzing. That, and his own ragged breathing were all Ben could hear. Voe spit out "Tai believed he could turn you back." She gave a humorless laugh, eyes darting briefly to his lifeless form. "He loved you. He was the only one who loved you. He thought of you as his brother, and you murdered him!"

Ben took her moment of anguish to begin a wild attack, no better than hacking at her with his saber. He drove her back against a case, taking her saber hand off at the wrist. With a twist and a lunge he shoved his lightsaber through her heart. Her eyes widened again, a horrified expression in her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but only a gurgle of blood emerged. 

Ben leaned to whisper into her ear, "I only took one lesson from the Jedi: don't get attached." He stepped back and watched her slide top the floor, unseeing eyes staring behind him. 

Forgetting her immediately, Ben turned and waved his lightsaber towards Ren. "You! You told them not to help me."

Ren shrugged casually. "'Course I did. It was your fight. Your kills. Looks like you had it handled."

Stalking forward, Ben hissed "you could have warned me she was there. I thought she was dead."

"Can't rely on nobody else, kid." He jabbed a finger at Ben. "Even if you was one of us. Which you ain't."

Ben stopped right in front of Ren, lightsaber point hissing towards the ground. Ren's statement stung, but Ben's words were directed at the Knights. "So no one here can make decisions except Ren?"

Trudgen turned his masked face between Ben and his Master. "He is the one holding the Ren."

Ben snapped "Soldiers blindly follow orders, I thought you were Warriors." 

Laughing, Ren crossed his arms casually over his chest. "Nice try kid. But we all know you're failing. No good death means no joining the Knights."

There was a moment where a veil of red fell over Ben's eyes as his mind grappled with disbelief. He spluttered, "what are you taking about? I just had two!"

Ren raised a white eyebrow. "I didn't see no good death. You blindly killed one in anger. Yeah, he betrayed you. You didn't even know what you were doing when he died. And the other, you knew she was right, so you killed her."

"I wanted her dead! I wanted them both dead! That's what you said I had to do!" Ben's face was red and spit flew. 

Ren laughed in his face. "Nah, I don't think so kid. Better luck next time."

There was a flash of movement before Ren could turn away dismissively. He blinked twice and looked down. Ben had stepped in and buried his lightsaber into his chest, all the way to the hilt. 

"Damn Kid." Gasped Ren, even as Ben's face wavered before his eyes.

"I'm taking what I want. I'm taking what's mine." Said Ben, then he closed his blade and allowed Ren to fall to the floor. He stared up at Ben with his dull eyes and surprised expression. 

Ben didn't have time to think about Ren any further. He released Kuruk from the hold he had on him, knowing he would have seen Ben's movement coming. He didn't know if Kuruk had tried to move against him or not. The rest of the Knights clustered together before him, less threatening as their actions were hesitant.

"You killed Ren." Trudgen said, stupidly. 

Ben eyed each Knight. He knew he probably couldn't take them all, and he didn't really want to kill any of them. In spite of what he had told Voe, he could see these men truly becoming his brothers. 

But first, he had an idea, a gamble. Calling the Ren to his hand, he saw the Knights hesitate further. He had killed their Master, and he now held their object of power. But taking possession of the Ren wasn't his plan. 

Ben threw the Ren up, levitating it and sending it towards the back of the vault. He held it there as he held his other hand out and waited. The Knights watched as Ben called Vader's mask to himself. A rumble went through them as they realized what the object was. But Ben didn't pay attention. Tucking the mask under his arm he focused on the Ren, rotating silently near the ceiling. 

As Ben focused himself, hand held out unwaveringly, the Knights seemed to realize what was happening. A rumbling of power caused every still-standing shelf to shudder. "Stop! What are you doing?" But no one moved to stop him. 

Finally the Ren was vibrating violently, the vault was beginning to shake. They all stumbled, Ben barely managing to keep his balance as he continued funneling himself into the force. Someone shouted, but he didn't know who. 

Once it was past the point of no return, Ben lowered his hands and turned to the Knights. "Run." He growled. He didn't even think he was loud enough to be heard, but the Knights exchanged masked glances, then turned and ran for the stairwell. 

The shelves were collapsing, priceless artifacts being thrown to the ground, breaking and cracking and being kicked and trampled under their feet. They sprinted up the stairs, throwing themselves into the courtyard as a muffled, sonic-type boom rattled everyone's teeth. A cloud of dust joined them in the open air.

Looking back at the entrance, all Ben could see was the collapsed stairwell blocking the way back down. There was a long silence and then a deep rumbling and the ground beyond the stairs crumbled slowly into a giant sinkhole.

Ben picked himself up, standing shakily. The Knights climbed to their own feet and there was a shocked silence. They each removed their masks, long looks passing between them, as though they were collectively and silently trying to process what had just happened. 

Finally Ap'lek looked at Ben. "What have you done? Killing Ren was one thing, but the Ren was . . . It was a sacred object!" He didn't seem angry, it was more as if a loved one had unexpectedly died. 

Now that Ben had done it all, the enormity of his actions started to hit him. The possible ramifications . . . But he didn't have time to contemplate. Those things would come to pass if he didn't act quickly. 

He pointed to Trudgen, "why were you helping me?"

Trudgen looked surprised. "What? I didn't help you!" He glanced nervously at the other Knights. They shifted uneasily. 

"You've been helping me, directing me, since I joined you. What made you want to do that?"

It hardly seemed possible for Trudgen's complexion to be more pale, but his face was impossibly white. "I didn't . . . I don't . . . I just knew that was what I was supposed to do. I didn't think about it." He glanced around again. 

"Just like you know what to do when Ren asks you what the plan should be?"

Blinking, Trudgen managed a small "yes".

Ben looked around at the Knights. "Trudgen has been preparing for me to take over. He saw it, through the force." He looked at each face, still staring at him with shock and confusion. "You all have force powers. Ren used them for his own ends, but he didn't help you become stronger."

Ap'lek was shaking his head, opening his mouth to argue when Ushar put a hand on his arm. "Ben is our new Master." Ben was surprised, but he watched silently. 

"No!" Ap'lek almost groaned. "He destroyed our Ren! Is that not sacrilege?" He sounded pained. 

Before Ushar could answer, movement caused their heads to turn. Cardo, quickly followed by Kuruk and Vicrul, each fell to one knee. They bowed their heads to Ben. The remaining three looked helplessly at Ben, then back to them. "Ben killed Ren. He is our Master now." Cardo announced, then glanced at Ushar and Ap'lek as if to challenge their ideological argument. Cardo and the others lived by the rule of blaster and saber. Cardo looked at Ben. "I too killed someone who loved me to join Ren." Ben felt a shiver but nodded his acknowledgement.

Ushar looked at Ap'lek and said quietly "the Ren allowed Ben to destroy it. And it spared us. Did you not see the Shadow working through him as he killed? We must follow him now." Ap'lek looked at him for a moment, then nodded and dropped to one knee, bowing before Ben. Ushar followed, with a hand on his back. 

Turning to look directly at Trudgen, Ben spoke to them all. "To move forward the past must die. Your past, my past. Ren held you back. You were just marauders, mercenaries, his force for chaos. Chaos is part of the Shadow, but if it doesn't create power it is meaningless. I have sensed all of what you can each do. Ren squandered that; I can help you make them more. It is the Jedi that fear change, not the Shadow."

Ushar looked up with his black eyes shining. "He is our Ren."

Gently, Ben shook his head. "No. I will be your Master. But I will also be your brother. You are mine, but I am not some mystical symbol. I will be Kylo Ren. I will lead you in the shadow and I will make you better. Stronger." He turned back to Trudgen. 

Nodding, Trudgen looked at his fellow Knights. "Ren was an animal. We all doubted him at some point. He took advantage of what little control we have of the force, and never offered better. Kylo Ren," he met Ben's eye, "can give us more." He dropped to his knee, bending his head. "Master".

**Author's Note:**

> This is completed and I'll be posting weekly!


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